by Claire Rae
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The mystery of God is real and in that way, I thought I would share some new revelations.

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For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may endure for a night, But a shout of joy comes in the morning.

Psalm 30:5 AMP

 I have been dealing with a lot of pain in my body lately and I have been looking for answers anywhere I can find them. Being that I am a believer (in Christ) I know that something is off when there is something wrong physically as many times when we are in pain in our body there is often times something else going on that may be causing the pain we can’t see.

 God says in the Bible that He is the healer and that He wants us to be whole, so if something is off that’s our cue to get searching for answers. I believe that God can people heal and He can use anything to do it. Sometimes He’ll use physical pain to help heal an emotional wound, go figure. The thing is, we have all been hurt in one way or another and over the years I have have been drawn to hurting people most. I have always had a sense of where people are at and have always had a deep longing to help people heal. After all, hurt people hurt people and if there is no healing then the hurt just gets past from person to person and the cycle continues. It’s much like a virus, you may experience some symptoms, get medicated but if you don’t deal with the underlying issues you are likely to get sick again and again. 

When it comes to emotional pain some medicate using food, drugs, alcohol, sex, fitness training, work, video games ( not all are bad but when done in excess or as a tool for avoiding that’s where the problem lies) or just try and ignore it by staying so busy they don’t have to deal. All these things don’t really deal with the root cause and thus the person never really has true healing. It’s treated without knowledge of the root ( kind of like Covid and the underlying health issues of those who get sick).  Some don’t even realize they are infected because it was past down through infected DNA (generationally) so they continue on in life never really getting better and over time the pain eventually becomes debilitating and shows up in their health one way or another.

I have been surrounded by hurt people my whole life. I have been abused and abandoned by some of the people I love the most. I, in turn learned to do the same as a mode of protection, leaving abusive relationships because after all, you should never stay and be abused. Seeing that when people are hurt they usually hurt you but that is a pattern that I truly believe can be broken. I think if you heal you will be better to see the signs in others, give them the tools but not necessarily be so close to them that they are given permission to hurt you while they heal. After all, not all people are ready or willing to embrace the truth or ready to do the work when you show up to give them a helping hand. Some are also just not even aware of what they are doing or how their actions hurt others. Perhaps it’s because it’s normal to them because that’s what they grew up in. People that are never held responsible for their behaviour tend not to learn lessons and some will never learn because they don’t actually want to change, they would rather hold onto their hurt and use it as their excuse in life. Most people don’t mean to hurt others, they do it in ignorance and that’s why forgiveness for one another is key for long term success in life, remember though, everyone is responsible for their own life by the time they are an adult and they must choose for themselves who they allow in their lives, how they treat people and how they make up for their mistakes (Pssst.. we all make them at some point so know that being perfect is impossible, you shouldn’t;t expect that of yourself or others).But anyone who does make a mistake should be ready and able to apologize and make amends if their is a relationship to go forward.  People that can’t apologize or don’t recognize how they hurt others is a huge red flag and you should always avoid these people until they are able to see their mistakes. There is usually two sides to every story so know yours even if someone hurt you. ( Obviously not always the case but yes, many times two should be apologizing) 


I know there is a way out of these cycles, I have seen glimpses of it and believe wholeheartedly that if you are in this routine as I have been for many years, you will find a way out and have true healing too. True healing is when you can love people, not hold resentment, forgive and be at peace allowing others to be themselves even if they don’t choose you or choose your mode of healing. Yes, sometimes you need to separate yourself from people that aren’t ready to heal yet or those that can’t seem to respect you no matter how hard they try they just keep hurting you. I believe if you are diligent to forgive, pray for them and seek God to restore those relationships, He will come through for you in the best way possible. It’s often not what you think but always way better than you could come up with for yourself. Remember though, you need to be diligent with your boundaries, many people that get in these cycles find themselves there because they crossed a boundary line. If you have been in a abusive relationship, it is not wise to move back in with them no matter what they tell you or how they bribe you. Watch them from a distance and see how they treat their other relationships or how they talk about others. You will see a real change that way, but even then, they may have made some great progress but it doesn’t mean that they can withhold from abusing you again. Many people want to change but your presence can trigger old habits of abuse so most of the time its just better to move on from these types of people all together. 

You must remember that the devil wants people to be apart and divided but even better than that he wants to down, defeated and oppressed. Jesus came to heal and deliver people from bondage and set people free. He is love and He wants us to experience true, long lasting love. If you need to escape pray that God opens a door and do it. He will take a way. He’s done it for me many times and will keep doing it as many times as I need. 

Bondage is our coping mechanism like I mentioned in terms of food, alcohol, drugs, unholy sex (outside of marriage or on your own) ect. These are the things that keep us from one another, keep us in cycles and keep us down. These are the death agents the devil uses to keep us from true healing at the root.

Just like my last snowboarding accident, I was all twisted up in my back and neck so I couldn’t truly heal. I took care of my diet the best I could, I managed, I found a cuddle buddy and spent time in nature. All these things in of themselves weren’t bad but I wasn’t healing the root of my issue; my back and neck. As time was going on I was becoming used to the pain but I knew I wasn’t running at full capacity. I wasn’t fully restored. I needed God to tell me what the root was so that I could get back in line and heal properly.

There is a two part series to this, God wasn’t interested in just healing my back. I want to add that I had 3 accidents in 3 years. For me that is a significant number and knew God was trying to tell me something. For the longest time I just couldn’t figure out what it was. So I kept seeking and praying everyday. Years going by and I felt helpless in this pursuit. The thing is about accidents is that many times it’s not even your fault it happened so how do you go about fixing things that aren’t even your fault? Especially in terms of going the right way. Like the Bible says to turn from your sins and repent and I will restore you says the Lord…… So what if it’s not your fault? ( Like your parents or someone you love hurt you, no fault of your own?)

This is what God showed me… 

Jeremiah 15:15-21 NIV

Lord, you understand; remember me and care for me. Avenge me on my persecutors. You are long-suffering—do not take me away; think of how I suffer reproach for your sake. 16 When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart’s delight, for I bear your name, Lord God Almighty. 17 I never sat in the company of revelers, never made merry with them; I sat alone because your hand was on me and you had filled me with indignation. 18 Why is my pain unending and my wound grievous and incurable? You are to me like a deceptive brook, like a spring that fails. 19 Therefore this is what the Lord says: “If you repent, I will restore you that you may serve me; if you utter worthy, not worthless, words, you will be my spokesman. Let this people turn to you, but you must not turn to them. 20 I will make you a wall to this people, a fortified wall of bronze; they will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you to rescue and save you,” declares the Lord. 21 “I will save you from the hands of the wicked and deliver you from the grasp of the cruel.”

This is the painful truth that I needed to get to and the part that I am sharing with you because there are so many people that will need this revelation. There are so many people I am praying for and have been for years that I hope read this and get what God wants them to know. We must pray for understanding, forgive others as God forgives us and repent for our part to truly be healed. We all fall in one way or another and that is why we need the grace of God and His guidance to help us heal and love others. 

I want to make it abundantly clear that you are not an accident or a mistake. No matter how you got here, no matter whether your parents meant to have you or for whatever reason they couldn’t provide the love and support you needed. For those of you that have been let down by loved ones, abandoned, hurt, abused or neglected it is not your fault and God loves you deeply. The enemy of your soul has created lies and deceptions in your mind or used others against you so that he can keep you down. God is for you and He loves you so much that He will give you the answers and the strength to get healing and get what you need to succeed in this life and the next.

 I know that may feel like nothing as you are reading this but God said He would be the father to the fatherless and He would defend you and make a way. He would love you and never leave you. NEVER. He loves you beyond measure and will make a way for you. He comes after the broken and the broken hearted. He redeems people. God did not require us to be perfect when He offered grace. He gave it to us because He knows hurt people hurt people and He wants to heal us so we can in turn help heal others. You are not lost or forgotten you are just in process. You are reading this because God led you to do so.

For me, it’s been a long time coming. I feel like there has been so many nights wondering where He is and why I’m in so much pain but now that I’m writing this it’s probably because He wanted me to truly know what it’s like just to suffer so that I wouldn’t be writing this in vain. I am not, and no matter what you think of me I want you to know God truly loves you. He loves you enough to wait for you to be ready, He’s going to take your pain and replace it with His joy because that’s who He is. He came here to die for you, He loves you so much, it’s truly insane how much love that is. It’s really hard to understand that kind of love if you’ve never experienced it, but if you call out to Him, He will give it to you, the experience. 

I have been hurt a lot by my family from the day I was born. I know what that feels like. I have had many of my best friends turn on me over the years. I have been fired, let go of for no reason and God has saved me from it all over and over. He is a true saviour. He has even saved me when I was in the wrong ( we all need this a some point). He has put me back on the right path time and time again. That is His grace. 

He has also given me the practical help I need right now as He has given me a naturopath and a chiropractor to help adjust my body back and neck so that my brain can work at full capacity again.

Wherever you are, no matter how long you have been there, take a chance on God, He is waiting to heal and bless you. He will show you how.

I pray that all that come and read this will be blessed and healed in Jesus name and that you would find revelation to help heal you in your body, mind and spirit. I pray that you feel the joy of Jesus deep in your soul and that all things become new and abundant for you.

Love you and God bless!

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